Losing Your Memory
by perfectliesfromaperfectdame
Summary: 5 years have passed since Dan and Blair have spoken to each other. They both are back in the city under different circumstances. Will they find there way back to one another? SHIPS: Dair / Serenate
1. New Beginnings

**Author Note: I could use some constructive criticism and definitely some compliments! ****:)**

**Let me know if the writing style is to extreme.  
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**It's a definite Dair and Serenate story! **

**I don't own Gossip Girl or any of these characters.**

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><p>She stepped out of the cab, her eyes settled on the city around her and she smiled. Blair Waldorf hadn't been to New York City in over 5 years.<p>

She watched the driver pull out her multiple bags and she gave him a gracious tip.

"Thank You." he spoke.

Blair looked up and smiled, her building still looked the same. The windows still as large and the brick still as magnificent.

She pressed for the elevator and her mind reeled. When she arrived at the penthouse she slowly exited, hoping the place was still as elegant as before.

She wished Dorota would come scurrying yelling: "Ms. Blair how was your day?"

She wished that she had a vase full of fresh white and blue hydrangeas on the center table.

She had hoped these simple pleasures would come true, but they didn't.

She looked around and saw that every light was off and the curtains were closed to prevent the build up of dust.

She turned on the foyer light and saw an array of junk mail piled on the table. No flowers in sight.

Blair's thoughts traveled to 6 years before:

_They rushed inside holding each others hands soaking wet. _

"_So maybe not bringing an umbrella on our afternoon walk was not one of my finer moments." he spoke and Blair chuckled slightly. _

"_You think? These shoes are suede Humphrey. Forever ruined." she spoke defeated and he place his hands on her face and brushed away raindrops dripping from her long dark ringlets._

"_Well who else besides Blair Waldorf wears expensive and uncomfortable shoes on long walks?" he spoke so bittersweet and she gawked at him._

"_You don't appreciate fashion and I can really see that by the things you choose to wear. Plaid? What are you a bi curious female with wood chopping abilities and a cabin in the woods?" _

"_Wow, that was a new one. I appreciate that adorable quip." Dan spoke kissing her lips swiftly._

"_I thought you might." she glared and walked up the magnificent staircase to her room and Dan followed behind with a devilish grin on his face._

"_If your going to be drying off. I can always lend a hand." Dan said sneaking up and pressing his body into hers and her breathing steadily increased._

"_I was thinking a warm bath." she said walking into her bathroom, turning the faucet on, and making her way back in her bedroom, taking in her handsome boyfriend's appearance. She may have looked like a wet dog out in the rain, but the torrential downpour suited his messy hair and his slight stubble. The stubble that she would never admit she had grown to love. _

"_Care to join?" Blair raised an eyebrow and kissing his forehead gently. _

"_Need you even ask?" he chuckled and Blair smiled at his boyish nature that showed during even the most intimate times. _

_He made his way over to her and took the dress off and kissed her collarbone softly, and gently pressing his fingers into her waist. She unbuttoned his plaid shirt and ran her hands over his sculpted arms and black wife beater. _

"_God your beautiful." he said as he took the rest of her clothing off and she obligingly took the rest of his off as well._

"_Lets take that bath Humphrey."_

_He slowly got in the hot and steaming bath first and she followed. She pressed her back to his chest and his arms laced around her and a feeling of solace enveloped her._

"_So what are we going to do tonight? The Benefit that Lily mentioned is tonight isn't it?" he asked rubbing her arms slowly, and she grunted._

"_I was thinking dinner and a movie. The Film Forum is playing that new film on Khodorkovsky."_

"_That sounds perfect." he spoke kissing her hair and she had a small smile as he did so._

_She kept her body pressed against his, feeling the beat of his heart on her bare back. _

Blair stared at the bath tub and smiled pensively.

Everything in her bedroom was covered with sheets and layers of dust, but the bath tub looked the same as it always had.

Shining porcelain and loaded memories.

She set her purse on the floor and slowly reassembled her room.

She made the bed she watched Dorota make hundreds of times.

She dusted the bureau dresser and lugged the suitcases up the staircase herself.

After 5 years she hadn't had a maid cleaning up every single mess she had made, and she had silently appreciated the learning experience of taking care of herself.

She opened her closet and found empty hangers and cobwebs encircling her walk in sanctuary.

Blair slowly unpacked each bag and her closet soon filled with clothing from every sort of designer across Europe imaginable.

5 years had passed, but Blair Waldorf still had impeccable taste.

After extensive cleaning, she had finally settled into her room and pulled out her phone:

"Hello." a lyrical voice spoke after only two rings. Blair heard a small voice in the background repeating the question: Who is it mom? Who is that?

"Hey." Blair said smiling. She hadn't heard this wonderful voice in months and it was like an angelic sound.

"B! Oh my gosh." Serena yelled through the phone and immediately Blair felt a sense of happiness.

They had no communication the past five years and Blair had finally made the call she was patiently waiting to make.

"I wanted to call you as soon as I got to the city."

"Are you in town?" Serena squealed through her phone and the small voice in the background made a loud grunting sound and said: Mom are you okay?

"Yeah…since a few hours ago. I am here for a few weeks." Blair said walking down the stairs and her black Miu Miu heels clicking across the marble floors.

Next room to reassemble was the living room.

"That's exciting, but why?" Serena asked quizzically. She was inexplicably ecstatic her best friend was back, but what was the reason.

"I am here to take care of some business." Blair spoke. Her business was to finally give up the penthouse she had so fondly loved since her childhood, but she didn't want to spoil the conversation.

"Oh, well can I expect to see you while your in town doing some mysterious business that you neglect to tell your best friend of whom you haven't called, texted, or wrote in the past five years?" Serena spoke in a way that Blair felt a wave of regret sweep over her entire body.

Serena said it with a slight sting in her demeanor, but Serena was hardly one to hold a grudge.

"I- I am sorry Serena." Blair sat on the dusty couch and put her head into her hands. Blair remembered when Serena had left Blair during their 10th grade year and how alone she had felt those months.

Blair and Serena finally saw both ends of the spectrum.

"Its okay B."

"No. Its not. I need to make up for lost time." Blair said making her way to the foyer and looking at her masterpiece.

She had managed to make her living room look as it did the days her and Serena would gossip about Nate, Chuck, and Dan.

The days they would watch Breakfast at Tiffany's and eat croissants, trying to imitate Audrey's mellifluous accent.

"Can we meet at the park? I have someone I want you to meet." Serena finally spoke and Blair immediately ran up the stairs to grab her purse and overcoat.

"I will be there in 15 minutes."

Blair hung the phone up swiftly and grabbed her red pea coat out of her closet.

She descended the stairs as she had done a million times before. Like she was a beautiful princess and the entire world below were her servants.

She had missed the feeling of power.

A smile graced her lips as she pressed the elevator button.

She was suddenly back in high school.

She was meeting her best friend in the park and it was so nostalgic Blair almost fainted.

Blair Waldorf was finally starting to reassemble herself.

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><p>He opened the creaking door and basked in the smell of dust and Chinese food and listened to the sound of car sirens in the street.<p>

Brooklyn.

He had missed his old home and the familiarity of it.

He hadn't used the key to the loft in 5 years and the day he had left he swore he wouldn't be back.

Here he was.

He walked through with a duffle bag on one shoulder and a laptop case on the other.

His intention now that he was back in the city and on sabbatical was to write a great piece of literature.

He hadn't written anything with substance in almost 5 years.

He walked into his room and set his two bags down beside his bed.

Dan Humphrey was a washed up writer and he neglected to notice this truth until now.

He pulled out his cell phone and made a phone call:

"Hello" a woman answered swiftly.

"Hey babe. I wanted to call and let you know I finally made it." Dan spoke to his fiancée of one year.

He had met her at Starbucks two years before.

They had a steady and anything but rocky relationship.

She was the daughter of a doctor and a teacher.

She was conventionally beautiful.

He always correlated her beauty with that of Grace Kelly.

She was blonde and blue eyed.

Lauren was everything he had always wanted in a woman.

"Okay." she spoke gently and he could hear a few of her colleagues in the background asking her what she had wanted to do for lunch.

"I am going to unpack and try to get some writing done."

"Take your time. It will come to you when it comes baby." she said eloquently and he nodded.

"Right. Well I better let you go." he said walking through the loft and cutting some of the lights on.

The loft wasn't half as dusty as he had expected.

"Okay. Well call me tonight. I love you." she said blowing a kiss through the phone.

"I love you." he blew a kiss and pressed the end button.

She was going to be coming to New York on the weekends, but the trip from Chicago was going to be quite a commute.

She was supportive of his decision to spend time in New York and visit his family.

She was supportive of everything he did.

He was slightly unsettled by that.

He was used to Serena who he spent most of his time chasing and most of the was spent miserably trying to figure out her carefree and whimsical nature.

He was used to Vanessa who spent most of her time judging his decisions and being oblivious to him for their entire friendship.

He was used to Georgina who was a whole other element of crazy. He wasn't quite sure where his right mind was in that relationship.

He was used to Blair. He was used to a challenge. He was used to writing multiple novels on her. He was used to her biting remarks that actually left marks on him. He was used to feeling in love and for once it felt almost true.

It felt right.

He shook his head and immediately pulled out his laptop and put it on his desk.

He pulled up Microsoft Word and typed away.

He glanced around the loft and memories came flooding in and he couldn't block them out.

He attempted to forget her face, to forget her.

He tried to, but all he could think of was how they ate breakfast at the bar stools every morning, or the long tired nights on the floor discussing literature or art, or the many times the had made love in his bed.

He tried to block out the memories of Blair.

He couldn't.

He needed a walk.

He left his loft anxiously and glanced outside.

It was Autumn in New York City and the leaves were changing from green to orange.

It was his favorite season.

He appreciated the two unappreciated seasons.

Fall and Spring.

They reminded him of death and rebirth.

He walked until his feet began to hurt and the sky turned an pinkish amber.

He felt his phone ding and it was someone he had never expected.

He was sure he had changed his number since she had last texted him.

It was from Gossip Girl. He was almost in his 30's and she was still following him like a ghost who had been dormant for years.

The message said spotted in the city and a picture of Blair was posted underneath.

She looked as beautiful as ever.

He quickly deleted the post and hailed a cab back to his loft.

He wasn't here for her and he sure as hell wasn't going to forget what happened to their relationship merely 5 years before.

He couldn't undo almost 5 years of reexamination.

He entered the loft and shut the door behind him, locking it tightly.

Locking the ghosts of his past outside of the door.

Dan made his bed with the tucked away sheets in the linen closet and laid in his bed until he forgot the picture of her.

He fell asleep listlessly and dreamed of history and bad decisions.


	2. The Past

Hi all, I haven't updated this in ages! Sorry! I love reviews! :)

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><p>Blair waited by the fountain and remembered the many times she had spent by it.<p>

Her and Serena on hot summer days would jump and splash in it and giggle obnoxiously trying to both gain the attention of one Nate Archibald.

This was the fountain that she and Dan had also first said I love you to each other.

They were walking around Central Park after their 4th date.

Their hands clasped together tightly.

He was the first to say it and she replied quickly and kissed him intensely. Her arms wrapped securely around his neck and his wrapped around her waist.

She couldn't believe that was over 6 years ago, and somehow she could still feel the electric current from the kiss that had followed their declarations.

Blair' s thoughts were interrupted by a text notification and she glanced at her cell phone.

Spotted in the city and a picture of her when she had first arrived.

Gossip Girl?

Yes. This was definitely high school all over again.

Blair closed it instantly and saw Serena walking towards her with a small girl in pigtails clutching tightly to Serena's coat. The little girl was wearing tights with red tulle and a long sleeved yellow bat man shirt.

Serena looked as she always had. She had her long blonde hair pulled up into a ponytail and was donning a pair of jeans and black sweater with golden sequins around the collar.

"Mommy. Who is that?" the small blonde haired girl said smiling widely. Blair immediately caught on and realized that the resemblance was in fact uncanny.

"I am Blair Waldorf. Me and your mommy used to be best friends since well…" Blair paused and thought for a moment. "…about your age. Now what is your name?"

"Nicole Colette Archibald."

"Archibald?" Blair screamed slightly. Blair may have not gotten her happily ever after, but she was pleased to hear that her best friends had.

"Yeah…well that is a long story." Serena whispered and place her hands on Nicole's shoulders.

"Do you like my batman shirt?" Nicole interrupted. She was twirling and smiling at Blair, waiting on a reply.

"I do. You look very pretty." Blair told Nicole and she giggled. Blair could tell she was just like Serena, not shy or afraid of anything.

Blair and Serena sat on the park bench discussing time passed and watched as Nicole feed sliced Wonder bread to the ducks.

"So you and Nate are…" Blair let the sentence linger for a moment and spoke the final words. "…separated."

"Yeah. We have been for almost a month now." Serena nodded and watched Nicole laugh at the ducks quacking.

Blair wasn't sure if Serena would explain the reasoning behind the separation, but she wasn't going to ask. The look on Serena's face told Blair she had better leave it alone and unlike Blair's constant meddling in the past, she didn't ask any further questions on the subject.

"So how has your love life been? Any kids?" Serena said lightheartedly and Blair almost choked on air.

"No! No kids." Blair hadn't thought about kids since she had dated Dan and she had plenty of meaningless boyfriends after him, but nothing that surpassed the 3 month mark.

"Boyfriend?" Serena asked and Blair stared with her eyebrows raised, assuming her facial expression gave that answer away.

"Girlfriend then?" Serena joked and Blair shoved her gently. Blair felt at ease for the first time since she had been in the city. She felt as if finally something was the same. Their friendship.

"So how is your mom and Rufus?"

"Great. I actually have a half brother about the same age as Nicole now." Serena uttered watching Nicole.

"Wow. That's great. Congratulations S." Blair spoke and realized she may have been a little late on the congratulations, but Serena still gave her a genuine smile.

"Thanks. Its been a life changing couple of years." she confessed. Blair didn't feel the same. Blair felt like the past 5 years have been anything but life changing. She felt like the last 5 years were a waste. She regretted them.

"How is Dan?" Blair finally asked the question she had been waiting to speak since she had gotten into New York.

"Good I guess. We email sometimes, and he is engaged now actually. Her name is Lauren and from what mom and Rufus tell me, she is very nice." Serena said it and Blair felt her body go completely numb. He was happy and she wasn't. It was painful to think about.

"That's good. He found someone who makes him happy."

Blair and Serena talked for another hour until Nicole began rubbing her eyes and the sky was almost completely dark. They both shared a cab and Blair watched as the cab pulled up to their home.

"Call me tomorrow?" Serena asked Blair and she nodded intently.

"Absolutely." they hugged tightly. Nicole watched her mom and Blair hug and joined in, clutching her mother's arm.

"You want to be the peanut butter in this hug Nic?" Serena asked and Nicole leaped from her seat and squeezed between them and the three of the hugged tightly.

"Goodnight B!" Serena said finally getting out of the cab and helping Nicole out.

"Goodnight S…." Blair said and she looked at Nicole. "…and Nic."

"Bye." Nicole said in a yawn.

The cab then zoomed off and Blair sat back, watching the city lights go by her and she pressed her head to the window. She couldn't remember why she hadn't been back here in so long.

She needed to go somewhere before she made her way back to her penthouse.

"Cab driver. I need to go to Brooklyn."

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><p>Dan finally awoke to an obnoxious ring tone and a stomach rumble. He saw it was Lauren and answered swiftly:<p>

"Hello." he said groggily and sat up from his bed.

"Hey sweetie. Were you asleep?" she said surprised. He cleared his throat and stretched his legs to stand up.

"Yeah. I accidentally fell asleep I guess." he said with a chuckle, making his way into the kitchen and opening the refrigerator. Hoping for something to eat.

Nothing was in it and he shook his head.

He had remembered that he hadn't lived there in years.

Why was it so hard to remember that fact?

"Oh. Well how is the writing going?"

"It isn't. Or well it hasn't yet." he said honestly. He felt like maybe coming back to the city wasn't one of his brilliant ideas.

"Well it will. I am sure of that." Lauren spoke sweetly. She had been partially to blame for his sudden move back to Brooklyn.

She believed that the city and Brooklyn were his great inspirations, but it was actually a 95 pound doe eyed bon mot tossing label whoring package of girly evil.

"Thanks babe. So how was work?" he spoke glancing around the loft for his old take out menus.

"Good. Long day as usual."

"Oh well you will be here in 4 short days to see me. Hold onto that wonderful thought." he said softly and she giggled.

"I can't wait. It will be nice to see where you grew up." Lauren said and Dan finally gave up on the search for the menus. He had made his mind up. He was going to go get some groceries.

"Well I have to go. Can I give you a call after I get back from the store?"

"Yes of course. I love you."

"Love you."

He clicked the phone off and grabbed his coat, wallet, and keys in a swift motion and

made his way out his loft, down the stairs, and outside of his building. He looked both ways for a cab and nothing was in sight.

He began walking the short distance and his thoughts went back in time:

"_Blair if you don't keep your eyes closed, so help me God!" Dan cursed loudly and Blair laughed loudly._

"_Your one mean Humphrey when it comes to surprises, you know?" she said with a scarf tied securely covering her eyes and her arms out in front of her so she didn't run into anything._

"_I just don't want you to ruin….." he said removing the scarf. "…this"_

"_Oh my God." she entered the loft with a giant grin on her face. The entire loft was covered in candles and soft music was playing on his dad's old record player. _

"_Tada" he said quietly with a small fidgety smile and one hand on his hip. He was nervous and shuffling the small velvet box around in his pocket. He was nervous because he was going to propose to the woman he loved in about 20 seconds._

"_What's all this for?" she walked further into the loft, and paused realizing Dan wasn't walking beside her. Blair turned around and placed her small hands on her hips and bit her bottom lip._

"_Blair you know how much I love you right?" Dan started his speech. He had practiced the very speech at least 30 times in front of his mirror._

"_Yeah.." she let it linger until he began speaking again:_

"_I love you so much and I couldn't imagine my life without you in it. I couldn't imagine not having you there criticizing my outfits-"_

"_Someone has to do it." Blair interjected with a chuckle._

"_-I feel like ever since you have entered my life, you have turned it upside down in the best way possible. You challenge me and make me this amazing person and this amazing writer. I love everyday with you because I know I have someone to argue with. I bought this two weeks after we started dating-" he paused and pulled out the small box and got on one knee. "-I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you a long time ago, and now I think we are ready."_

_Blair stared with a dumbfounded look and watched him open the box slowly and she was anticipating the actual question._

"_Blair Cornelia Waldorf, will you marry me?" he looked into her big brown eyes while Billie Holiday played in the background. He noticed her eyes welling with tears and she gave him a giant smile._

"_Absolutely Dan. I will marry you any day." she spoke and he hastily ran over to her and crashed his lips on hers. He felt like his insides at that moment could explode in utter pleasure. _

_He pulled the diamond ring from the box and slid it on her dainty finger. _

_It fit perfectly._

Dan had found the Rite Aid around the corner and went in and bought a tv dinner, cheez its, and a 2 liter of Pepsi. He stopped on his way at the ABC store and purchased two bottles of wine. He argued it would bring inspiration.

He was set for the night.

He wished that of all the memories he and Blair had, that that wasn't the one he immediately thought of. He tried to remember the trust issues, and the many endless nights of his heart hurting.

He rounded his corner and pulled out his cell phone to see if Lauren had tried to call again.

She hadn't.

His eyes landed on a small brunette in a dark red peacoat with her hair long and wavy. Dan choked on the chilly air and clenched the plastic bags in his hands and the only complete thought he had was how beautiful she had looked.

The picture from Gossip Girl didn't do her justice.

"Blair?" he whispered to make sure his eyes weren't deceiving him. She veered her eyes from the building and looked at her Dan Humphrey.

Except he wasn't hers anymore.

"Dan?" she responded slowly and noticed how good time was to him. He had his hair cut short and was wearing his classic plaid and jeans.

"Why are you here?" he asked tensely. He knew she was in the city, but he never imagined she would make it to the other side of the bridge.

"I didn't know you were in New York." he didn't expect such a small reply, he half expected her to insult him and stalk of like she had done millions of times before.

"Well I am." he sounded too harsh and she felt like he was purposely being cold. She didn't know if it was what happened the many years before that kept the icy demeanor.

"I guess I better leave you to your frozen dinner and 5 dollar wine. I honestly didn't expect to see you Dan." Blair remained calm even though her entire cover was about to break and she was sure she was going to break down and cry.

"I saw your picture on Gossip Girl." he paused and chuckled. "I never thought I would ever say that sentence again."

"We may have went away I guess, but she never did. She was just waiting for us to return." Blair said and realized that maybe they would be able to actually have an adequate conversation, unlike the last one they shared many years before.

"I guess your right." Dan saw Blair shiver slightly and immediately wanted to wrap his arms tightly around her, but he resisted the urge and stepped further away from her.

"I think I better call it a night. It was really…" she hesitated and continued. "…surprising seeing you Dan."

Blair turned away from him and walked away. She felt like this entire encounter was fate being a bitch once more.

Dan stayed stagnant until she was completely out of sight and opened the door to his building. He climbed the stairs and unlocked the loft. He placed the bags on the counter and noticed the 3 missed calls from Lauren and felt utter guilt.

"Hello" he heard her whisper on the other end of the line.

"Hey babe. Sorry I didn't get your calls. I left my phone at the loft accidentally." he didn't lie about that fact. He just left out the fact that his past just walked into his life before he even unpacked all of his bags.

"Its okay Dan. I just wanted to make sure Brooklyn didn't swallow you up yet." Lauren gave a small laugh and Dan joined her in it.

"Not quite yet."

They sat on the phone for another 20 minutes discussing each others day, she talked about work and he discussed his walk and how nice it was to sleep in his old bed.

He clicked off his phone after she said she was going to take a bath and he said he needed to feed his empty stomach.

Dan made a tasteless dinner and drank half a bottle of wine. He just kept thinking of Blair and how beautiful she was. He could write pages on her eyelashes. He tried to imagine what she was doing right now. She was probably eating a meal entirely too pricey and drinking wine that was entirely too old and thinking about a man who was entirely too good looking and too smart. She was thinking of a man who was probably not Dan Humphrey.

Probably.


	3. History

**Author Notes: the flashbacks are not chronological! Doesn't go with show storyline now although I was so pleased with these past two episodes! XD**

**Comments are always appreciated! :)  
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><p>"<em>Ms. Blair, Dan is here to see you. He seems anxious." Dorota said and Blair slowly stood from her bed and straightened out her dress nervously.<em>

"_Thanks Dorota. I will meet him downstairs." Blair began shuffling through her room and Dorota stopped motionless watching Blair run around her room. "You can go now." Blair yelped at her and began fixing her hair in the mirror. Her hair was in a low bun and makeup was barely applied to her face. She was wearing a sundress and ballet flats. _

"_I look horrible!" Blair yelled at her reflection anxiously._

_She had been through a lot and Dan Humphrey was there for every aspect. The car crash. The miscarriage. The failed marriage. Everything following and now it was summer and everyone in the city was either vacationing in Europe or the Hampton's._

_Serena was in Los Angeles again, she had found another job on a movie set and she couldn't pass it up. Serena claimed it was the opportunity that made her flee, but Blair had an inkling it had to do with Dan. She wanted to reconcile and he didn't._

_Chuck was in Australia and had little to no contact with anyone except Lily. He attempted several times to win Blair back, but the loss was finally setting on him and he needed to get away. Blair felt relieved at that thought._

_Nate was in the city, however he was always in business meetings every other day._

_Blair slapped herself when she realized she was going to be spending the entire summer alone with Dan Humphrey, but somehow it was turning into the best summer she had ever had and maybe it was turning into something more. _

_She thought about the night before and pushed it out of her head._

"_What do you want Humphrey? I thought we agreed last night we needed space." Blair spoke descending the stairs, a slight crimson to her cheeks and Dan resisted the urge to brush her face with his fingertips._

"_No, you agreed to that. I merely watched you collect your articles of clothing, yell at me, and rush out of my loft like a bat out of hell." he admitted with his hands in his pockets. Blair looked around hastily to make sure Dorota wasn't lurking in the corners and she slapped his arm harshly._

"_Shut up. Last night never happened!" she said and he rubbed his arm feeling the stings from her slap._

"_Yes it did. It happened Blair and I don't want to forget it. I liked last night. I liked it a lot and I think you did to." Dan said so a matter of fact and Blair felt speechless._

"_I don't know what I think Dan." Blair settled with and backed up and sat on a step. Blair said it so uncertainly and thought of the previous evening._

_The night before was like any other night. They rented Key Largo and ordered in Chinese food. While watching the movie, Blair laid her head on his shoulder and then it escalated into him reaching to hold her hand. Within ten minutes they were making out on his bed, hardly stopping except to take each others clothes off. Blair pushed him off after 15 minutes and ran out of the loft. _

_Now here they were trying to define it all._

"_I know that you know how I feel about you. I know that I try everyday to convince myself that we don't belong together, but the more I try to force myself out of the truth the more I believe we are meant to be." he finally did it. Dan finally told Blair Waldorf how he felt out loud and instead of her slapping him viciously she gave him a soft smile and a chuckle._

_Immediate warmth enveloped her._

"_O-Okay." Blair muttered under her breathe. _

"_Okay?" Dan readily jumped up in utter excitement._

"_Yes okay." she repeated. "But I want to be taken on a proper first date with dinner and flowers and chocolates. If its anything other than Godiva you may as well not even show up."_

"_Wow already conditions. Anything else?" he said and began to finally get the small sensation of butterflies in his chest._

"_Well now that you mention it. No flannel or those jeans. Or that hair. Humphrey your starting to look like Justin Guarini." Blair pointed to the curly mess that fell in his face and he pointed his finger at her begrudgingly._

"_Okay fine. But I have conditions too." he paced the floor and she laughed hysterically._

"_Such as?"_

"_I want to be the one planning the actual festivities and I pay for everything." he tried to think of any other stipulations, but he came up blank._

"_Fair enough."_

"_One more thing Waldorf." he retorted and Blair stood up from the step and faced him. _

_They were standing in the exact same spot where their first kiss had happened._

"_What is that Cabbage Patch?" she stuttered realizing he was getting closer to her and they were only inches apart. Dan leaned into her and kissed her lips gently. Blair wrapped her arms around him and felt the gentleness of his touch._

_The kiss ended and they pulled away smiling and out of breathe. _

_That night they would have their first date._

_That night they would begin the most pivotal time in their life._

Blair awoke panting. She felt like each dream of him was becoming more and more vivid. Each dream was suddenly in her grasp and she could taste his sweet peppermint tongue again. She could feel the locks of his hair between her fingers.

She was awoken by the familiar buzzing of her cell phone on her night table. She reached for it and looked at the name: Serena.

"Hello" Blair sat up in bed rubbing the little bit of sleep she had gotten out of her eyes.

"Sorry Blair. Did I wake you?" Serena said giggling. Blair had assumed Serena hadn't slept in since Nicole entered her life.

"Yeah, but its okay. I was having a bad dream." Blair said half-heartedly sitting up and yawning loudly into the phone.

"Well it sounds like the dream kept you up, I better let you get back to sleep, but I wanted to call and invite you to Nicole's birthday party. Its this Saturday." Serena said and Blair had an immediate thought provoking moment. What do I get her for her birthday?

"I would love to be there." Blair answered with a small delay but with much enthusiasm. "I just don't know what to get her?"

"Well she loves Barbie's, My little Pony, and well anything pink. She is such a girl." Serena cheerfully admitted. Nicole was a girly girl and Blair immensely felt relieved.

She knew exactly what she was going to get her.

"So what are your plans for the day?" Serena asked interrupting the silence and Blair could hear the small voice of Nicole in the background asking her mommy for the crayons.

"I was thinking maybe going to MoMa. There is a Sanja Ivekovic exhibit. It is suppose to be extraordinary." Blair enthusiastically beamed finally stepping out of the bed and walking into the bathroom to brush her teeth.

When they were little they would call each other every morning, put the phone on speaker, and talk to each other while they got ready for school. Somehow Blair held onto that trivial memory.

"You know I would love to B, but Nicole can barely keep still as it is. I doubt she would be able to walk out of there without breaking something." Serena admitted and Blair sighed loudly.

"I guess I can witness the Croatian sculptor solo." Blair said defeated and put all of her necessary make up on the counter tops in the bathroom.

"Call Nate. Maybe he will go with you." Serena caustically spoke and Blair choked a laugh.

"Nate? Your kidding right? Did he develop a love for the arts while I was gone?" Blair muttered placing the phone on speaker as she put her foundation on.

"Unless you consider tivoing glee….absolutely not." Serena beamed.

"Well solo it is then." Blair confirmed and sighed. She did need to see Nate. He used to be her friend and hopefully he still was considered that.

"Well you have a good time at that exhibit. Tell me if it is all you had wanted and more."

"Oh I will. Call you tonight S?" Blair asked hopeful and Serena agreed. Blair pressed end on the call and continued getting ready for her long awaited trip to the museum she had once known and loved. She hated being away from the places that had once harbored all of her favorite things.

She decided on straightening her hair and put on a pair of her favorite Burberry jeans. She matched her jeans with a long sleeve red shirt and matching red heels. She called for a driver and set out for her day alone in the city.

* * *

><p>He awoke after a restless night of reflecting. He spent most of it staring at a blank word document and at about 4 am he finally decided to go to sleep.<p>

Blair Waldorf had already managed to seep into his life again and she had no idea the affect she had on people. On him mainly.

He thought about his beautiful fiancée and felt like an utter idiot.

He loved Lauren.

Dan went into the kitchen and began eating some of the cheez its and poured a glass of Pepsi. Breakfast of Champions.

He heard his phone ring in the other room and he ran to answer it. He saw a familiar name on the ID and answered it smiling.

"Serena. Hey." He said running his fingers through his hair. They hadn't spoken in a few months, but any conversation with her is always a nice surprise.

"Hey Dan. I wanted to call and invite you to Nicole's Birthday Bash this Saturday. I am not sure if your busy schedule permits, but if it does. Please come!" She giggled the little girl laugh he used to find so endearing.

"I actually can. I am in town for a while, well in Brooklyn, but I wouldn't miss it." He said and suddenly Serena felt her stomach drop. She had expected him to decline because the distance from Chicago to New York was tedious, but he hadn't. He was in Brooklyn.

"Well that is great. I should also tell you Blair is in town and will be present." Serena deadpanned and the situation suddenly turned from light hearted to tense.

"I know." Dan admitted.

"How?"

"She was here last night. She, I guess, wanted to see the loft and I was walking back from the store and we talked briefly, but it was okay." he jumbled the words and Serena felt bad for Dan in that second.

"I am sorry Dan." she told him those words every time she had spoken to him whenever they talked about Blair Waldorf.

"Don't be. Its been five years." he retorted and coughed into the phone trying to ignore the subject matter.

"So why are you in Brooklyn?" Serena finally asked him and he let the question hang in the air for a moment before answering it.

"I need inspiration. I need to write a good novel again and well, I haven't written a good one since I lived here. Since I was with-" he coughed again and left the name out of the equation.

"Right. So what are you doing today?" Serena again changed the subject. She felt like all roads led back to Blair with this conversation.

"I was going to go to MoMa. They have a Sanja Ivekovic exhibit. Its suppose to be-"

"-extraordinary?" Serena interrupted.

"Yeah. You know of her?"

"Of course. Croatian sculptor, I am a huge fan." Serena sarcastically said and Dan shook his head.

"Well I am going to get ready for it. I will see you this weekend Serena." he tried to hang up but Serena stopped him.

"Dan, make sure and invite Lauren. I would love to meet her." she said and he agreed hanging up the phone.

Just what Dan Humphrey needed. His fiancée and ex-fiancée in the same place at the same time.

* * *

><p>Blair stared at the sculpture. It had captivated her and she had been staring at it for over half an hour. She stared at the flawless face of the woman and empathized with her pained expression. She had watched people walk by the work of art and ignore the beauty of its simplicity and yet it was so complex.<p>

People didn't understand the beauty of it.

She circled it countless times and thought of how in this very spot her and Dan got the call that changed everything. The call that changed their relationship. The call that would eventually make him hate her.

"Blair." she heard a recognizable voice whisper from behind her and she turned around stunned to see him again.


End file.
